Hurt and Confused  4/9/99  Thank you so very much for all your words of wisdom concerning this situation and many thanks for your prayers. I solicit all your prayers, you have been an encouragement to me. The communication between my husband and I has returned, I am just praying for the right time to really talk to my husband concerning all that took place. But I am letting God direct my path with the steps I need to take because I want to have the right attitude and I want God to work it all out for His
glory and to let His well be done within my life. Please continue to pray for me I need all your prayers. Many thanks to Sarah and Lynne for your words of wisdom and your prayers. May God richly bless you and your families.

Hurt and Confused 4/26/99 I am very lonely and hurting right now. When I try to reach out to my husband he responds in anger or distance. I know that God can heal any hurt and he is working in my heart. But is this healthy for a marriage relationship to be this way. He is such a compassionate man with the people in our church; I am actually jealous of them. When I turn to him, he responds in such a negative way. We have talked some and he has said that he gets angry because he doesn't know what to do. But this is not helping our relationship at all; it feels so condittional. He'll love me when I'm up and happy, but pulls away when I need him the most. Tell me how to I continue on and love him the way God tells me to when he is hurting me so!!

daisymay  4/27/99 I just don't know what to say, except be strong....God is with you. Your letter struck me. I have been having a problem with my husband as well. He has been getting on the internet in some chat rooms and has had several women approach him. One, he gave his church p.o. box # to, and the other found out his name and called him at church. We have been dealing with these situations for about 3 months. I don't think that taking the internet is the answer, because if he is interested in other women that will happen no matter if this computer is here or not, but what I experienced was the same things that you are feeling, hurt and confusion... and who is the author of confusion? Hmmmmmm! the enemy is... You need to rebuke that demon from your life and tell him to go back where he came from...the pits of hell. My husband responded to me in the same way that yours is. He was very angry and hateful. He knew that he was doing something wrong, that is what they do when they know that. You just stand firm and God will take care of him. If he was ever his, he will deal with him, sounds like he is already convicted as it is. You and I can talk anytime. God Bless You

Karen  4/6/99 There is no hurt like the hurt that comes from those we love most.  I am praying for you.  God loves you and cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).  There are lots af things that come to mind as I read your letter, but let me just say I am praying that GOD will give you the strength to lay down teh hurt and the emotional baggage left from the hurt at the foot of the cross, and allow Him to comfort you and speak to your heart about what HE would have you do.  Phil 4:1-8. You can e-mail me if you wish.

Sis Davis  4/7/99 I have talke to him since the incident and he told me that what he expected for me to do was to go to him and say I feel as though you should give me my job back.  He then told me I should right him a letter telling him the reason why I won't my job back.  Well I told him I would not do it.  I am so tired of being humiliated by him and that was the last draw I feel like not even being apart of the church or anything I am just so so so so so mad.  He wants me to respect him but he does not respect me.  He treats me anyway infront of people but if I make a sour face at something he says to me I am rebelloius.  Such a double standard.  I am really feed up.  I should be praying and asking God to heal me of the hurts.  I should be asking God to forgive me for the hatered that I feel.  But  I just can not.  Thats not true I can and I will but I am just so hurt I do not even want to pray.  I do not mind if you e-mail me I need all the help I can get because I really feel like I am losing it.  But you know they say the battle is not yours it's the Lord's. Thanks.

Sis Davis  4/7/99 Karen, I looked at your scripture I Peter 5:7 but I looked one above at 6 and that applyes as well.  I know I need to submit I really do. Not just to my husband but to God.  But when things seem so unfair.
I look to God for help in my time of need
I am always giving help for that is my seed
but the enemy comes to kill steal and destroy
does'nt matter what gender girl or boy
but Christ says I have come to give life more abundantly
I just have to belive that that applies to me
things get hard sometimes and I think I can't make it
but with the love of God I have to belive I can take it
well for now really there is not more to say
just please my sisters remember me when you pray

Karen  4/8/99 I have been praying for you each morning and when I think of you.  Stay focused on God.  I know that is harder than it sounds.  Just this morning I was struggling with some attitudes that were not from Christ, but rather from my own hurt feelings.  I knew I had to forgive some  folks for what they had done, even though they may not have been right.  I knew choosing to forgive them would mean submitting my will (to talk about it, wear my hurt feelings, plead my case and let everyone know just what they had done, and ohh how it was so wrongl) to God's will (making the choice to forgive and allowing God to bring healing and rebuke, if needed, to me.  And also trusting Him with the results of the whole situation, then intereceding for these people that God will bring them to a"godly sorrow that reapeth repentence" out of His great love and kindness, so  they will come to know Christ and His blessings like never before.) I cannot know the hurt you are going through or the extent of your circumstances.  But I know that God knows, and he has promised not to give you more than you can bear.  Phil 4: 13 says " I can do (endure) all things through Christ who strengthens me" Claim His promises as you seek to obey His commands in your present situation.  Remember, also, that choosingto submit, forgive, intercede, and be what God has called us to be, by yielding to His spirit and His word, does not mean that it didn't hurt, or that the other person or person's were right, or that it doesn't plain feel awful.  It does hurt, they may be wrong, and it does sometimes consume us with anguish and agony in our inmost being.  But our obedience is a choice, not a feeling, we will seldom "feel like obeying in these circumstances.  But when we do, God will bless us.  He will cause the healing to come to our hurts.  He will do His work in His time.  He will also rush to our side, and His grace will strengthen us to walk in obedience.  He never leaves, nor forsakes us.  Now unto Him who IS ABLE to do immeasurable more than we could ever ask or imagine be all glory honor and praise.  Stay in His word, love and comfort.  May He be glorified in this situation!!!!!

Yvette  4/11/99 Sorry I am so late with a reply, and you may not need it at this point, but I just wanted to offer you some encouragement.  I have been very very involved in church work since our small fellowship began 5 years ago.  I will say that it has caused MUCH conflict between me and my husband.  It is very difficult to be the pastor's wife, and a staff member, volunteer or otherwise.  I have a very difficult time just looking to him as my pastor (boss and employee relationship), and seperating out
the husband-wife relationship.  I am the children's ministry leader, and part-time administrative help, plus about 5 other positions.  I will encourage you, however, because I am rejoicing that we have FINALLY made a breakthrough with this problem.  I realized that over 50 % of our conflicts are church-related.  I began to wonder if the church had become our god, instead of God being the God of our home. . . Since we both pour so much into the church, emotions get very intense very quickly on both sides.  The Lord has shown me that my relationship with my husband has to take priority over "church struggles" and that I should in my own heart just let these things go, and see them as small stuff, instead of giving them importance that they do not deserve.  He has also shown both of us that when we argue about something (I mean REALLY argue), that we are saying to that person that the issue at hand is more important than the relationship. After all, all the people in the church could leave tomorrow, but I have committed myself to this marriage for a lifetime.   Another thing that we have done, practically, is to
really limit our conversation at home to home issues, so that there is peace in our home, and try NOT to discuss those things in the home setting, but limit it to church when we meet together (as pastor and children's ministry leader) .  I have noticed that when we do that, he is much more "pastorly", and tempers do not flare nearly so easily.  I have seen the Lord soften my husbands heart so much, which was a miracle I have asked for off and on for years, and have felt the Lord change my heart so much when it comes to these issues ( Keep in mind that most of these other people are very UNCONCERNED about these small issues, while we are agonizing over every small decision).  There have been times
that my husband has "removed" me, or that I have "removed" myself from this or that position, but the Lord always works things out, but only when we both submit to Him, and put our marriage as the top priority.  It hurts to be removed, but I have to admit, as most of you will also, being the wife of these pastors is a handfull in and of itself, and the lighter the load, maybe the better. I would say, if the Lord can raise up someone else to fill some of these roles, I would be grateful, but for now, we are dealing
with a less than perfect situation, and there are too many things that would be left undone, so for now, I cast my weeknesses (inability to submit to my PASTOR, inability to submit to my husband, being stiff-necked, stubborn, and rebellious, pouty, too sensitive, unforgiving, selfish,) upon the Lord, and my husband does the same, and the Lord uses us someway, somehow, miraculously.  I know the hurt, anger, and resentment that you feel and I know that this will not be easy, but the alternatives (divorce, turning from God, or disobedience to the call), are so much worse than the walk that we walk.  It may take many YEARS of prayer, but God can restore, and if it is His will for you to be in administration at your church, He will work it to completion, but we KNOW that it is His will for us to be godly wives to these men, so we must place that as our top prioritiy.  I will pray for you, sister, for I feel that I have walked in your shoes.  Take heart, God has not forgotten you, He is bottling your every tear.

Sis Davis 4/13/99 Well things with my husband are a lot better.  I am no longer administrator but that was not my quarrel for I knew that that was not my job.  I was just upset to be fired when I had been so faithful to everything else he turns around and fires me.  But we have talked and I will just keep praying for the peace of God.  We are excited because the ministry is growing but I do not want to loose sight of the fact that we are married and we need each other.  I had to remind him of that and let him know hey I am on your side and if you push me away then what will you do when no one else is there.  So I am hoping that he remembers this but we are trying to make an effort to always talk and also pray together.  Thank you so much for your prayers and your help.

Essie  4/19/99 Sis Davis thank you for sharing.  I think we have all been in this situation at one time or another.  Yvette thatnk you for your honesty and truth in God's word.  Often we know what we should do.  And have the desire to please God.  However the spirit may be willing but this flesh is sort of weak. My feelings get hurt easily but I also forgive easily too.  I don't mind forgiving because it usually causes me to grow.  But I feel that Christians should be able to talk to each other with out hurting one another.
We are the body of Christ and our husbans have our souls to watch after as well as all of those other folks. I would much, much rather please God than be angry all of the time.  But my husband-pastor makes me so mad sometimes.  Deep inside Yvette, I know you are right,  but its hard to listen to the
man of God preach  the love of Jesus Christ when I don't feel loved and listened to.

Esperanza  4/7/99 I am a PW of a Hispanic church located in a big city.  My husband and I started this church from scratch 6 years ago when the city was just starting to recieve an increase in Hispanic population.  One barrier I have come across is I am a "gringo" working with a culture that is far different from my own, I am amazed at just the diffence in thinking and percieving thing can be between two diffent cultures.  I feel as if everytime I am in the presence of our Hispanic congregation I am to assimulate into their culture mindset even though we are in the United States, located in a big city.  It's like I experience culture shock everytime I attend church.  My second frustration is that since we are a
church that is trying to reach a certain people group, many new churches have sprouted up also to reach the Hispanics.  One even in our own denomination.  And about 6 of our families have left our church to attend theirs.  In fact is that those who left our church make up his entire congregation and we run into this other Pastor often because of district events and everytime he tells us about his church I feel deep
pains inside knowing these were our people and I am hurt they have left us and wonder why they did, if they did not like our church or if they wanted a Pastor who was Hispanic himself (which he is).  I also run into the members who have left to go to the other church.  I act lovingly to them but deep inside it hurts and I wish they would explain why they left so I would maybe not take it personally.  Any ideas?  Or is there anyone who has experienced this too?

Yvette  4/11/99 My prayers are with you.  One issue you addressed was how to deal with seeing people often who have left your fellowship.  I will ask the Lord to soothe your heart.  We live in a small town, and there is a lot of sheep-swapping that goes on, especially between our fellowship and another church.  It is embarassing for me to even go to the grocery store, because I know that I will see SOMEONE who has either left our fellowship, fallen away from the Lord, etc.  I try to simply do what Jesus would do, show love to them unconditionally.  I stay away from those church issues, (I figure that's the pastor's job) unless they bring them up, and just sincerely inquire about their family, health, home, etc, and show that I still care for them.  I try to communicate to people who have left for no good reason, just through my actions, that the door is still open, that we still love them and care for them wherever they go to church.  I have found that sometimes they aren't really gone forever, and many times they will come back much to my shock and amazament, or will flip-flop (we have one family who goes to one church on Sunday morning, and ours on Wednesday night. . . figure that one?????!!!!)  It baffles me, hurts me, confuses me, but I have stopped trying to "figure it out", and just trust the Lord that He will put His sheep in the pasture they should be in, and encourage these people to really seek the Lord as far as what fellowship they should be in.  I have stopped trying to encourage them to come to our fellowship, instead of
another, because if God doesn't want them here, neither do I.  It may be a good thing for the church that they have left.  Pruning is always painful, but usually fruitful.  Over the years, we have seen the Lord replace those who left with fruitful, mature believers who truly want to serve, and feel a calling to our fellowship.  Only because I have seen the Lord do this, can I take the hurt, and smile at them when I see them in the produce section.

Di  4/13/99 Forget reading "how to" books, Meg.  Just be yourself. You don't have to please anyone but the Lord, and he already loves you more than you can imagine.  Your ministry is first to your husband, then ask the Lord to show you where He wants you to minister.  It may very well be just to be a loving Mum at this stage, and to create a secure, peaceful haven at home  for your husband.  My husband has been in ministry for 27 years now, and I have learned these lessons the hard way - but unfortunately I don't always take my own advice!!

Brenn  4/13/99 I agree that you don't need a "how-to" book. However there are books out there that can be an encouragement to you. A few years ago my hubby and me read "Married to A Pastor's Wife" it is an incredible book. If you read it together it is best. The interaction over the topics in the book is what
really helped us out. I'm sorry that I can not remember the authors name.  The book is in my husbands office. I'm pretty sure we got ours through Focus on the Family, just call them, they will be able to help you.

Meg  4/24/99 Thank you for your input!  We have just learned that my husband's first church will be in North Dakota!  We have never been to the north.  Thank you for your prayers.

Tami  6/11/99 I have just recently became a pastor's wife, also, just three weeks ago.  I am learning to just be myself and get to know the people as opportunities arise.  Moving in gave people many chances to stop by and say hi and that was a good time for me to start putting names with faces.  This is a late
response to your posting, but we are in the same situation I think.  When did you start in the pastorate?  Where in North Dakota are you?  What denomination?  I grew up in northeastern North Dakota.

Lynne  4/15/99 One of the wonderful benefits to belonging to the FAMILY OF GOD is that we each bring something very special to HIS kingdom.  It is wonderful that you love & honor this precious lady.  She sounds like a "great" handmaiden of the Lord.  But you, too, bring something very "special" to HIS kingdom.  Don't let the "enemy" torment you with thoughts of "failing, or what have I to offer this congregation."  You feel the Lord has given you a Word for this group.  He has opened a door for you to
speak.......  You humbly, but boldly, walk through that door and lovingly present the WORD to these "thirsty" women.  I love the teaching about the BODY OF CHRIST!  Some are the head.... Some are the heart.....  Some the big toe....  Some the liver....  But there is a place for everyone....  I also like the fact that JESUS teaches us to NOT compare ourselves to each other.  Down south they have a saying -- "WE IS WHO WE IS & WE AIN'T WHO WE AIN'T."  Now there is some truth to that old saying.  You be the vessel that the Lord has called you to be.  Nothing more... Nothing less.....  Be filled with His LOVE & HUMILITY and leave the rest to God!  Wonderful things will happen as you KEEP YOUR EYES ON JESUS & OFF OF YOURSELF!  I'm sooo excited for you.  Let us all know how it comes out.  Expect great things from God & Attempt great things for God.

Dorcus  4/16/99 Thanks for your response... and you are very right.  We all have something to offer Gods people.... and she {the pastors wife who invited me} knows me... well.  So.. she had a reason for me coming... she is very obediant to the Lord and I feel the Lord really has something He wonts me to share with these ladies. I am SURE with out a doubt... He will use me there, .. and I will be glad to share with you what occures!!!  Keep me in your prayers, that I will study to show these ladies what God has laid on my heart to give them!!  much love and prayers to you all...

Lynne 4/17/99  We just had a doctor from India come to our church and share what the Lord is doing in his ministry there.  We certainly will pray for you & your ministry there.  May JESUS give you much wisdom, love & patience as you labor for HIM & HIS Kingdom.

Lynne  4/19/99 Rest assured, you are not alone.  There are many of us out here that have been where you are at, and understand completely your feelings.  A few thoughts came to my heart as I read your
letter.  1.  Don't allow the ministry to make you bitter, but let it make you better... The same "boiling water" that hardens the egg --- softens the carrot.  Take all the "bitter" things & experiences to the JESUS and leave them at HIS feet.  If people want to say "rude" things behind your back.... let it be their problem not yours.....  You come to JESUS.... let HIM make you SWEET in the BITTER.  HE is able....  REMEMBER..... you must have the heart of a lamb, but the hide of an alligator.....  JESUS is in the process of making you into a vessel of honor for HIMSELF.    2.  Love the people JESUS has called you to serve.  This may sound simple, at first..... but it takes a love that surpasses human love.....  Remember JESUS' words on the cross, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."  God's people can sometimes hurt one another with their words, body language, and actions....  Again..... you be like JESUS....  Get before HIM and let HIM fill you with HIS love for these people you are called to.   LOVE COVERS A MULTITUDE OF SIN!  At first, and it may take time, it might seem like you aren't getting anywhere, but LOVE NEVER FAILS.... Words of mercy & acts of kindness can do "supernatural"things.  On the other side.... Unkind words and cruel deeds can to "devastating" things....  JESUS has called you to be the leader, right along side of your husband.... You may be young, but God's Word teaches us to "Despise not the youth."  You can still be a leader......  God is calling you to "HIGHER GROUND."  Remember the old hymn.... My heart has NO desire to stay, where doubts arise & fears dismay... though some may dwell where these abound... My prayer ... My aim is higher ground.... TODAY.... Settle it in your heart... that you are called to an overcomer.... BE NOT OVERCOME WITH EVIL, BUT OVERCOME EVIL WITH GOOD.... You will be close to my heart and in my prayers this week.

Angie  4/29/99 First of all, to Lynne, I took your words of wisdom and I am putting them close to my bed and anywhere else I can so that I can read them when I feel discouraged.  Thank- you for them!  Jennifer, I know what you are going through. I really do.  I have been married for almost 2 years now and we came directly here to this parsonage after our honeymoon.  I must admit, I do feel like I live in a big fishbowl for the whole world to see and I also dislike the fact that we share a driveway with the only
deacon of our church, they don't miss a thing!  My husband and I make jokes about it now, but at times it wasn't at all funny to be under watch all the time.  I can't say anything better than Lynne did, all she said is the truth.  I do want you to know that it's totally alright to feel this way, to feel overwhelmed by it all.  This is a big deal, a very high calling!  I learned from the start that most of the time my own feelings of inadequacy were the reason why I felt so overwhelmed.  I kept looking at what I thought a PW should be like, how we should dress, act, you name it.  It wasn't until I realised this that I could become comfortable with who I was.  I know that God has called me to be in this position and I am in awe of the fact that God Almighty has chosen little, totally imperfect me, to proclaim His glory in this capacity.  Just hold to that, that God has put you where you are, He loves you, He wants you right there and He will bless you if you continue to lovingly serve Him.  Be God's!

7/3/00  Just be yourself - be the very best 'self' you know howto be.  You can't please people.  God couldn't so why should we try.  God will direct you in the areas you mentioned. Be modest - be creative in your home.  Keep a home your husband isn't ashamed to bring others in to. Always lend a 'listening' ear.  The less the congregation knows about your personal business the better.  You can have friends, but I found if they take the initiative and do the inviting, it can help alleviate some of the jealousy of you being with people.  You can say like I had to once - "Yes I go shopping with Donna, because she calls and asks me if I would like to go.  If your Mother called and ask - I would go with her..."  God bless you - people can be real cruel... Pray and ask God for direction.  He is able!

Lynne  4/20/99 I think one of the FIRST things that has to be settled in a person's heart is that there are just some things in the Bible that we will NEVER know until we get to Heaven.  As I have grown older, I
am discovering that the main thing is that JESUS wants my heart and wants me to become more like HIM.  The question is, "Am I more like JESUS this year, than I was last year?"  There are so many doctrines that may Godly men have opposite opinions of.  Like the 2nd coming, Predestination, Eternal Security.... etc.... The question shouldn't be, "Who's right?" .....  The question is.... "Are my doctines making me more like JESUS?" Don't get me wrong.... doctrine is VERY important!  But some things aren't worth arguing over or bickering back & forth.  God's church must major on the major and minor on the minors....  We must come together and UNITE.... Love JESUS with all your heart.... LIVE wholly for HIM..... He loves your children far more than you do... HE IS A GOOD SHEPHERD!  He takes good care of HIS sheep....  He especially loves the little lambs... He holds them close to HIM....  For God so LOVED the world that HE sent HIS only begotten SON... that whosoever believeth on HIM shall be saved....  May your children rise up as true BELIEVERS to their generation... Don't lose the simplicity of LOVING JESUS.... This love will take you through... the hard times.....  God bless you my sister-in-Christ!

Yvette  4/22/99 Isn't it wonderful that we serve such a big God?? His ways are so much higher than ours.  The Bible teaches both predestination and free will.  In Romans it says "Jacob I have loved, Esau
I have hated", but it also says, Whosoever will call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved, and "He is not willing that any man should perish. So. . . both are true.  Sometimes it is disturbing that God would choose some, but not others, but, should WE have a choice, but God not have a choice??  Bottom line is, God is sovereign.  He has a choice, as we do.  We WERE chosen before the foundation of the world, but we must choose him.  I believe, personally, that no one who wants salvation will be refused.  This is just my opinion based on what I have learned of God's character, I must trust in those things He HAS shown me, and entrust the rest to Him. We must trust that we serve a mighty, holy, just, righteous, God.  There is no way to really resolve this issue from a human standpoint. It is good that you are eager to learn of the Lord and His word,  and I pray that these questions will spur you on to dig deeply into the word, to seek the Lord with your husband, and to have faith that God's ways are perfect. Maybe when we sit down for the wedding feast, with our glorified bodies, next to our beloved, he will fill us in (or will we
even think to ask??).  Can't wait to meet you all then!!

High Calling  4/24/99 The doctrine of election has always been something that devides, confuses and puffs up, but that doesn't make it less true.  Our response should be one of thanksgiving and praise to God fro chosing us when we was dead!  A dead man cannot respond on his own and we were all dead in our trespasses and sins and HE made us ALIVE in CHRIST! I don't feel it is a healthy doctrine to camp on, trying to figure out who is the elect and who is not.  It is only to point us to the GRACE and MERCY
of GOD and that our salvation was not a result of anything we have done. It is also a doctrine that should produce humility in us, but unfortunately it sometimes causes pride.  May we all know in the depths of our heart what a GREAT GOD we have who pulled us all out of the mire, because we all have gone our own way, but the LORD, HE redeemed us from our wicked ways.  Our responsibility is to go out into all the world and tell all the GOOD NEWS of JESUS CHRIST,  Bless You dear sisters.

Lynne  4/20/99 One of the most difficult things to find in the ministry is "BALANCE."  It sounds as if the ministry has caused your world to be out of control.  A couple of things came to my heart as I read your
letter....  1. Get alone with JESUS.... Ask Him to make your both your hearts soft and your heart right toward your husband and the ministry... 2.  Pray that you won't be part of the problem, but part of the
solution....  Sometimes by withdrawing or arguing... we make things worse instead of better...  We cannot meet these problems in our FLESH or we make the problem MUCH LARGER....  3.  After your hearts have been softened (and only then)  maybe you can discuss lovingly & wisely some areas that need changing.  If your husband knows that  it's because you LOVE him and are LONESOME for his companionship and not accusing him of putting the CHURCH ahead of you (That immediately causes him to be defensive)  I'm sure he will respond properly.  He sounds like a very earnest man of God.  Remember he is learning too.  He is in a difficult position... trying to please God.... the church & his family....  I hope I haven't come across to harsh.  I have not meant to... I really feel if you will be patient and learn these lessons that JESUS has allowed to come your way.... You will both be a great asset to the Kingdom of God....  May JESUS bless your marriage & ministry.  Keep in touch!

Essie  4/21/99 Thanks for you honest words of encouragement.  In my heart I know that we love each other very much.  I am just so furious at some of the decisions he makes and things he does and I think at times he is taken advantage of.  From reading the concerns posted on this site it appears as if the spirit of discouragement is ruling and in full control.  I feel bad now for not being stronger and allowing this stress to overtake me.  I know that there are so many other people with real serious issues.  (for example our brothers and sisters in Littleton, Co.)  Thank you so much for your help and kind words.  Do keep us in your prayers!

Lynne  4/22/99 You are in my thoughts and prayers.  JESUS has once again untaken for you, and will bring you through to complete VICTORY. May you have a BLESSED marriage & ministry.   JESUS has great plans for you & your husband.  Loving God & loving each other.....  That's what it's all about.  THIS IS THE GREATEST COMMANDMENT****  That we should love the Lord our God with all our heart, and then love one another.  Don't let anybody or anything rob your joy!  THE JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH!  REJOICE! God is with you!  Love you my sister-in-Christ!

Lynne  4/20/99 Have you ever heard that old Gospel song.... Leave it there.... Leave it there.... Take your burden to the LORD and leave it there.... If you trust and NEVER doubt... GOD will surely bring you out.... Take your burden to the LORD and leave it there.   I really believe that JESUS wants to LIFT your heavy burden.  It is too heavy for you to carry.  It seems that something has to be settled in your heart.
That something is THE MINISTRY....  God brought you and your husband together.  He placed your lives together and the call of God that is on your husband is also on you... (Maybe your duties will be different.. but I believe with all my heart that EVERY pastor's wife is called of God too) Get before JESUS.... tell Him your fears...  give HIM your cares and worries about everything.... HE IS ABLE TO MAKE A WAY FOR YOU!!!!   You are a wise woman to not want to NAG your husband....  Nagging does NOTHING for the marriage but hurt it.  It "spoils" the relationship between the husband & wife.  (Believe me I've tried it and it doesn't work)  BUT  if we first come to JESUS.....  Lay everything at HIS feet....  Ask for wisdom.... He will show us what to do.... He has a way of keeping our hearts tender and right toward everyone... He helps us to see clearly....  Don't worry about your age....  Just be like JESUS in all you do.  In the words you say and in your actions.... Over time..... as you obey HIM and live for HIM and grow in HIM.... the respect will come.... Let's pray together...... Dear JESUS, you see my sister... you know she has a heart to please you.... HELP her today to settle once and for all the call that is on her life.  Make her a great help-mate for her husband.... Make her a BLESSING to all she is called to serve.....  As their ministry grows... don't let the enemy have any foothold... Let her be sold out for
JESUS.... In Your NAME... AMEN....  My dear friend.... endure hardness as a good soldier.... FORWARD MARCH!!!  Please let me hear from you again.  JESUS has a wonderful life and ministry for you and your husband!!!  Fear not!!!!  The ministry can make your marriage better not worse.... AMEN!

Alana  4/21/99 Dear PW, thank your for listening to me the other day (Alana 4/20/99).  I am so new to this Internet way of communicating.  I would like to share a word of encouragement to all you Lovely Women of God.  1)Thank You Jesus for Dying on the Cross for Me 2)Praise God for who you are 3)Thank you for your encouragement. I have received so many blessings from reading your life circumstances and seeing God working in your lives. What a comfort to know that I can write to you and you will pray for me and help me.  From the bottom of my heart******I thank God for You!**** I have been a Ministers Wife for 20 years and I am so humbled by the Godly wisdom that I received from reading your entries.  I immediately got down on my knees and asked God for Forgiveness and bitterness I had in my heart 2)Prayed for renewal of Spirit 3)Made my request known to Him 4)Thank and Praised Him.*** Praise Report-GOD IS ALIVE!  This morning when I attended our Wed. Bible Study, I felt so free. As I served coffee and had to see the school director I was able to face her and truly feel God's presence with me.  I was able to LOVE her.  And even speak with her.  She is not open for a relationship with me or my husband, in fact she does not respect him at all.  But, We are here to share the Gospel of Christ and that is the bottom line.  Praise God.  Please continue to pray for us.  Tonight we have a meeting with the School Director, Elder and teachers of our Christian School.  Pray that everyone present would put aside their personality differences and clearly see that we are here for Saving Souls.  Sisters in Christ, Thank you once again for blessing me and for serving our Lord.  To God be the Glory.  Amen.

Yvette  4/22/99 Alana, I have been reading your posts.  How did the meeting go?? Praying that God will be glorified.

Alana 4/24/99  Thank you for praying for me, I sure could feel it.  The opposing team was big, strong and vocal, at the worship meeting.  It sadden my heart.  But, God was definately present with me. I was able to actually sit there and not have any panic attacks.  They want a contemporary service. We started a contemporary service and they attended the service once or twice and then said, that does not meet my needs.  Go figure.  That was the whole purpose for starting the worship committee. So, they could have the type of service that they want.  They do not even come regularly to worship service.  They are always signing up to do things in church that requires them not to be in the service (example, babysitting during worship, cooking for the fellowship hour).They all mean well and want to reach out to the lost.  But, they don't want the pastors input, covering or guidance.  They do not understand the accountability to God that a pastor has for the people.  They think he is not  open to change and that he is the  problem. That is a lie.  These women have quite a following in our church.  And a lot of people are unaware of their doings.  They are so sly , just like the serpent was.  I have been in the ministry for 20 years and have seen the same type of people in our church who so much want to reach out to the lost and share the Gospel of Christ.  But, they do not look at themselves first and say , when people look at me, do they see Christ in me. I would appreciate your prayers and encouragement.

Yvette  4/23/99 My heart weeps for you and your family.  Jesus is our "Wonderful Counselor", and He is the One to heal your hearts.  I pray that God would send you a counselor to be "Jesus with skin", to help you see clearly.  Your vulnerability is not a bad thing.  When we are weak, He is made strong.  Perhaps this is a sabbath time for you and your husband, to recover, to rest from the wounds, so that you can become strong again.  I'm so sorry you have been deemed a black sheep.  I know of not one human being in ministry who has not been discouraged, and in total despair.   I know that we are to bear fruit, but we all have those winter seasons.  Even in nature, nothing bears fruit continually--God has given down times.  Please know that it is O.K. to rest at times, as God directs.  God is more interested in our hearts than our works. You are so wise to ask for prayer.  Discouragement has a way of sapping our desire to pray.  During those times, we need our sisters to love us, to pray for us.   May God soothe your heart, may He restore you, renew you, refresh your spirit.  May the Master Gardener water, feed, tend, and grow our roots deep in Him and His word.  Lord, fill them with your love, grace, and mercy.  Carry them through this, Father.  We place them in your hands.  (Please know that these ladies who read these posts are faithful in prayer.  They have blessed me so.)  We are lifting you up before the
throne.

Yvette  4/26/99 So sorry to hear that things are not going well for your fellowship.  We also are going through some real struggles financially.   Offerings have dropped, even though attendance has not, but
my husband is thinking that he will have to go back to work, at least part time, if things do not change.  At these times, (the end of the rope) I think the only things we can do as wives is to pray earnestly and try to be an encouragement to our husbands.  The leadership of the church is meeting once a week to fast and pray.  We felt that we needed to seriously seek God, and use that meal-time to pray, and use the hunger we feel as a reminder to pray the rest of that day for the financial needs of the church, and for God's wisdom.  I think my husband has mixed emotions about going back to work at a secular job--after all, he has just this year become a full-time pastor.  On the one hand, our guys get a lot of "strokes" from a secular job that are not found in the ministry, but they are from the world, not from God.  I know
that it is difficult for these guys to endure week after week, especially in the slow times and that secular work gives an escape at times.  I will pray that you will be encouraged in the Lord, and from that overflow you might be an encouragement from your husband.  I will pray that the Lord will meet your needs financially, and that He would bless your fellowship.

Lynne  4/26/99 I am so very sorry for all the hurt and pain you are now experiencing.  I, too, have experienced deep pain from a sexual sin caused by a member of my own family.  It is indescribable!  One thing you can cling to is that JESUS IS THE HEALER OF THE BROKEN-HEARTED.  He is a VERY PRESENT help in time of trouble.  One thing that got me through was "CLINGING" to the Promises of God. I lived in the BOOK OF PSALMS! My pain was so deep at times I would actually vomit, but I can honestly say that as the years have passed JESUS has healed my broken heart.  He has given me great comfort, and now He helps me to comfort others.  Do you have a close Godly "lady" friend you can talk with and pray with?  I hope you do.  I pray you do!  Those dear friends that lead us to the feet of JESUS..... they help us through many "blazing hot" trials.  I wish I could put my arms around you and let you know someone cares!  Please write in to the Support Board and let us continue to support you and hold you up in prayer & friendship.  We LOVE you my dear sister....  Please keep us posted!

Sarah  5/5/99 As I read your letter it was as if I could feel your pain.  It may seem very hard for you to pray at this time but God knows your heart and those that have read your letter is praying for you also.  Just remember that sometimes we have to carry the burdens along to the altar and leave them there.  God says that he will mend our brokent hearts and always keep that in mind. I know that I am praying for you and your husband.  The enemy comes in to steal, kill and destroy don't allow him to keep this bad seed that has been planted to continue to grow.  Turn away and let God send his angels to minister to your needs.  When people come from no where to bless you receive it because its God sending them to you.  For your relative that you must see God  says that we must pray for those that mistreat us.  Begin to look into her life and see the needs that are lacking for her to turn to a Pastor for attention in an ungodly way.  I am sure that she is suffering one way or another.   Ask God to turn this situation around that he gets the glory for we know the enemy meant it for bad.  Let me pray for you now.  Dear Father in Heaven Lord we ask that you would touch this dear Sister, allow this bitter cup to pass and let you peace surround her, let her heart be overflowed with tears of joy knowing that she has come though.  Lord touch her husband Lord give him the mind to understand what he has put his wife through and begin to love his wife as you love the church.  Lord and we thank you and we praise you for your un-conditional love for us.  In the mighty precious name of Jesus we pray Amen.  My dear sister read Philippians 4:8 and begin to think on wonderful things of our Lord.  I love you in Jesus.

Vmwife  5/7/99 PWFORGOD, you aren't alone!  I'm in a small town too.  We have been here 13 years.  When we came the church dropped from about 60 to about 35 per Sunday.  It's tough being in a small town, because people never forget. Just last week we got a "hate" letter from someone who left our church.  It is so hard, because we have to face him and his family all the time.  I think the only thing that gets me through is 1)relying on God's faithfulness, 2)focusing on my family, and 3)my hobbies.  Maybe I'm not the best pastor's wife in the world, because I just don't "absorb" all the problems that people cause and the ones they bring to us.  I try to listen, be sympathetic, give advice if they want it (which they usually don't!) and then get on with my own life. Anyway, our church started growing again after certain people left, and at this point we can see that He did know what He was doing!  They have caused problems in other churches now, and we realize that God spared us some of that.  Right now we have a tremendous congregation.  They support us fully--sometimes it's almost scary.  So be faithful through the bad times, and keep your eyes on Jesus.  It's worth it.

Pat  5/7/99 Hello my sister...you are not alone! Your husband is right--these things do happen and the Lord does indeed know what He's doing.  We planted a church 5 years ago in a small city.  Like you, westarted out with a crowd in a rented facility.  That lasted about a year.  People started jockeying for positions and recognition.  Little cliques started forming and before we knew it, some of our key leaders left (taking their tithes with them), and took a few people with them for good measure.  We were brokenhearted and began questioning ourselves and God.  He told us to just keep praying, trusting Him, and do not try to build the church ourselves.  Psalms 127:1 says "Unless the Lord builds the house, its
builders labor in vain...."  Fast forward to 1999.  We now have over 100 members, a strong youth department, and a spirit of praise, prayer and unity in the house of God.  We still have challenges and disappointments, but it is comforting to know that nothing catches God by surprise.  He'll handle it.  This is not a job for the fainthearted.  God must have known you could take a lickin' and keep on tickin' or he wouldn't have given you and your husband such an awesome responsibility.  May I share a few tips that helped us?  You probably already know this stuff but I just want to reinforce it, OK?  1) Do not, I repeat, DO NOT TRY TO PLEASE PEOPLE.  They will kill you spiritually if you do.  God called us to be servants, yes...but not people pleasers.  If they get mad and leave, pray for them, love them and move on.  God will heal your heart.  They will tear things up if they stay, so its best if God releases them. 2) Trust God explicitly for EVERYTHING...the increase in members, the money, EVERYTHING.  Don't try gimmicks or anything carnal to accomplish your desires.  It won't last. 3) When God identifies those
individuals in your congregation who are leaders, intercessors and helpers, begin to mentor and develop them in their giftings.  This may involve meeting with them one on one and pouring into them your vision and passion for the church.  That is not to say you are ignoring the other members, but in every congregation there is a core group of believers who will be praying for you, lifting up your arms and
relieving the burden and weight of the ministry from you and your husband.  Know them and appreciate them.  They will draw others.  Finally, the Lord let us know that if we did not have a strong outreach into our community, the people would become too comfortable, selfish and would eventually begin to bite and devour one another (see Galations 5:15).  You can start small and it will grow.  We have an annual picnic on our church grounds and invite the entire neighborhood.  Everything is free.  We got donations from
area merchants and last year we fed about 200 people.  We also have clothing giveaway and we will be starting a feeding program shortly. Outreach is critical.  I know you said your town is small, but there are people in your town who don't know Jesus.  Well, I know this was long but I hope it helped.  Keep us posted.

PW4GOD  5/10/99 Thank you girls....vmwife and Pat!  I really needed all of that... and I know that I will be coming back here to reread your postings...  I am so glad to know that you both understand.  I only know of you two that have gone through this that has talked with me.  I appreciate that.  I have good days and bad days.. it seems that I question myself alot.  And that is a problem, I know.  It can even be considered unbelief.  Some of my family is estranged from me also because they worked at the church, but are no longer with us.  And they are the ones that hurt us the most, actually the whole time, but we never really knew it.  They were the ones telling of our flaws and anything that we did when we were much younger.  So the undermining started really early, but I have a hard time forgiving this one family member, because we shared so much of our heart with her.  She seems to have told many things that she should not have.  I guess that is the problem, huh, to not really share you heart with anyone?  Is that the best thing?  I talk to Jesus all the time, and I know that He hears me, so why do I feel that I need to tell others....?  Over the last serveral months, I have really had my eyes opened to many things; it seems that I have more of a contrite heart, and am more tender.  Is that what happens to you all.. it seems that I am more sensitive to offending God.  Like I can't say and do as I used to because of the things that God has done.  Do you all experience that.....like you want to please God more, because of all that is going on around you?  Take care.  I have been checking this board everyday!  Thank the Lord for the people who thought of this!

5/11/99  I'm just getting back to this because my husband has been sick, plus all the activities of May are about to get us down! Yes,  I do think that going through trials makes us more tender towards God's leading. Don't ever believe it if someone says that each trial makes the next one easier!  At least that hasn't been my experience.  But each trial has a "silver lining" so to speak if we will let God lead and mold us.  You asked about sharing your heart with other people.  Well, I'm fortunate because I have a good friend (not in the church) who listens and cries with me whenever I need it.  But in our last church it wasn't that way.  The way I handled it then was to write down my feelings. (But be careful where you
leave it--when we moved,our church people helped us, and I was horrified to discover that one of the ladies had packed my journal--I just prayed that she hadn't opened it to the entry that said "I RESIGN!  I HATE THIS CHURCH AND I DON'T WANT TO BE A PW ANYMORE!!!")  There are ladies in our church who would say they are my friend, but I don't (and shouldn't) feel comfortable sharing many things with them. I share everything with my poor husband! That helps a lot, and he is very supportive.  I will be praying for your relationships with relatives who have hurt you.  Please pray for me also--we have an ongoing situation which I mentioned in my last entry which concerns a former church member. He is
still wanting to hurt our family and is finding ways to do so. Forgiving is the hardest thing God asks us to do, I believe.  But also one of the most important!!! God bless!

Pat  5/11/99 There have been some tense moments, however, the family has  remained with the ministry.  Quite frankly, they  have been our biggest challenge.  Often, family finds it hard submitting to the leadership of one they know so well.  Matt 13:57 speaks of how a prophet is without honor in his hometown and in his own house.  The scriptural context speaks of the lack of honor for Jesus, but the principle applies to men and women of God today.  We’re not always appreciated, even in our local church with our own families! I am saddened to hear of how your family member that betrayed you.  It is difficult to feel comfortable around someone who has hurt you like this, especially family.  However, as painful as it is you must forgive her.  You must literally "bless those that curse you", and speak well of her in your heart and in your conversations (even though you don't feel it, do it anyway).  Eventually, the bitterness and anger will go away if you continue to release your hurt to Him.  Who knows, you may be the one she will have to come to for prayer one day.  As far as confiding in people, I have learned to be extremely cautious about who I share my heart with.  Aside from God and my husband (and this
support board!), there are only a few people whom I share personal matters with, and they do not belong to our church.  These are women of God whose lives have demonstrated faithfulness, consistency and temperance with their tongues.  As a pastor’s wife,  I’ve found it to be a very delicate balance to develop loving and close relationships with members, but yet not so close that they know everything about you.   As I mentioned in my previous reply, I do feel it is important to identify those key people who are true
supporters of the ministry and mentor them.  Close friendships will naturally flow from that process, and as you pray for God’s wisdom and guidance, He will let you know how much and when to share your heart with them.   God is so gracious and kind...he knows how to orchestrate what I call "divine connections" among women.  I certainly feel this support board is a "divine connection" between pastors wives who just need a safe place to share their heart.   Please keep us posted on the progress of  your ministry.  I just know you are an awesome woman of God and that that He will send the help and resources needed to accomplish His plans in your part of the vineyard!  God Bless.

Lylas  5/10/99 I too am a fairly new pastor's wife.  This is my husbands first ministry and we've been here just over a year.  We love the church and community and can't imagine being anywhere else.  The congregation is such a loving support to us and we feel so blessed by them.  The only negative is that we are by far the youngest family in our church and a lot of times I feel "out of the loop" as the ladies discuss mostly "senior related issues", at least I am gleaning a lot of wisdom from them for myself when I am their age!  At any rate, I am also looking for PW's to chat with, e-mail, support and encourage, especially those who are younger (I'm 39) and new to the ministry.  I would welcome your reply or that ofanyone else who reads this.  God Bless you all!

JoynHm  5/11/99 I can relate to your dilema.  Our first church that we pastored was a church that we started and therefore I could just be myself but then we moved nearly eight years ago and we took over a church where the pastor retired.  The pastor's wife was a very dominant figure and kept a tight rein on everything and I am totally the opposite of her.  At first, I heard all kinds of comments about how different I was from her and I was so discouraged thinking I was not measuring up.  Then one day my husband and I went to a meeting where we took a test to find out what our spiritual gifts were and suprise, suprise my gifts never even came close to her ministry strengths.  Then it dawned on me that God made me just the way I am and I would be wrong to try to be like her and from that day forward I became comfortable in my own skin.  And now I sit where I want to sit, minister in ways that I feel led to and I don't hesitate to say "no" when I need to.  I am very blessed to have a very supportive husband and he often says "no" for me.  My ministry is changing now though because we just sent our youngest to college so now I can dow things that I previously could not.  So let me encourage you not to change just to satisfy the crowd but really seek the Lord to find out what your gifts are and excel there.  And remember that you have a calling as well as your husband.  I will be praying for you.

Vmwife  5/11/99 Just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you.  It is quite a transition from "jane b. churchmember" to the pastor's wife.  I did not marry a pastor, he was called later in life, much to my surprise.  There are some advantages, however.  Since you have been a church servant, you can identify with those servants in your congregation, and their perspective on church-life, since you have been there.  My husband was called to the ministry at a time when I could not have been more comfortable where we were.  It was a difficult transition at first, but the Lord has changed my heart.   There are many, many blessings that go with the ministry that you don't experience as  jane b. churchmember. (also heartaches, but worth that eternal reward!!)  I can see the Lord's hand changing people's lives, I see children born and growing into strong Christians.  I have found that the best way to be the "pastor's wife" is to find that role that HE wants you to fill, and don't get overwhelmed with others' expectations.  Our first ministry is to our husbands, to encourage, support, and pray for them.  The congregation always expects more than I am able to give them.  Only the Lord can meet their needs, ultimately.   God's grace is sufficient. . . and HE is able to use each one of us pastor's wives, with our unique personalities and strengths and weaknesses.  Whatever your personality, God will show you what it is you are to do, and I'm sure you will be a blessing!!  Pastor's wives are all so different (just read the posts!!), and God gives us different people to minister to.  When God called your husband, He also called you, and HE will complete the work that He has started.  One verse that has helped me, is , "Trust in the Lord with all
your heart and lean not on your own understanding."  I try not to "figure it all out" but just trust Him.   It is amazing that the Lord would even consider choosing me for such a task, but, He chooses the weak things to confound the wise.  The walk of a pastor's wife is day by day, hour by hour.  If we look too far ahead, we become discouraged and stop.  If we look behind, we long for easier days.  We must continue to press toward the goal. . . simply walking the few steps He has shown us, until we are shown more.  May the joy of the Lord be your strength.

JoynHm  5/13/99 My suggestion to get through what you are dealing with is to have an "attitude of gratitude".  Find things in your present ministry that you are thankful for and think on those things.  If we live in the future then we become uneffective in the present.  We have been pastoring for almost 18 years and were in other positions of ministry for another 4 years - and I feel as though I have almost seen it all and what I have not personally experienced I have read on this message board and this one thing I know for sure is that "God is my strength"!!!  Every day that I feel inadequate for the job I remember this saying "God's callings are His enablings" - if He called me to do a job then He will enable me to do it....and believe me I have done just about every job imaginable over these past 22 years.  Some of the jobs I sailed right through and others I struggled - but God gave me the strength. There is no other job like Pastor's wife where we are constantly being critiqued on what we wear, what we say, how our kids behave (or don't behave),and etc. etc. But there is no other job with such good benefits (eternal rewards).  For those people who don't think you are spiritual enough tell them that "you covet their prayers".  I would encourage you to pray for them and don't ever talk about them to anyone else but the Lord and your Pastor Honey and allow God to deal with them. We sing a chorus in our church that says
"Victory, victory shall be mine, victory victory shall be mine, If I hold my peace let the Lord fight my battles, victory victory shall be mine.  I always get encouagement when we sing it.  I don't always see how the Lord is fighting my battles but on occasion I have and I will end with the shortened version of an example.  We have a woman in the church who has been stirring up trouble (a story for another time) and one day she went into a restaurant and ran into another church member who had not been in
church for a while. The church member was with a non-Christian friend and Miss TM (trouble maker) proceeded to put down my Pastor Honey and the church and went on to ask the church member if
there was anything she did not like about my husband or if he ever did anything wrong - if so someone would be calling her.  Well, little did Miss TM know that the church member and I were good friends and in short the church member put Miss TM in her place and then told my husband.  I could go on and on with other examples of "holding my peace and letting the Lord fight my battles".  Just be all you can be for God and don't ever give ear to those critical people - you are right - you answer to God not to man. I
will pray for strength for you to be just the way God wants you to be - a precious gem.

PW4GOD  5/15/99 JoynHim, I really enjoyed reading your post to Brooke.  I am sure that ministered to
her, and I know that it ddid to me also.  One thing about this board is that messages stay posted so we can look back to see if anything can pertain to us with our differant situations.  Brooke you hang in there
honey, God will bring things to where He wants them.  One thing that I learned about he Lord is that nothing escapes Him, and I am sure that He is dealing with those that cause division and contention.  These are the very things that help to destroy the body of Christ as a whole.  So, keep praying for your understanding to be opened, and for those people involved. JoynHim, you sound as if you have alot of wisdom and are mature in your walk with the Lord.  The Lord is working on me with some of the same
issues.  Like leaving people with the Lord, and not spreading all of the dirt around.  So many times, people know of situations that they ought not to know of because it undermines leadership, and many relationships.  I thank Jesus for opening up my eyes and helping me in this manner.  Keep us posted Brooke.  Take care, and God Bless.  My prayers will be with you also.

Brooke  5/15/99 Thanks to JoynHm!  I appreciate your wisdom.  I have never heard that song you quoted, but I love the words.  I know that He will take care of us as long as we are being obedient to Him, but the critical ones are the ones who speak the loudest.  There are 450 others who are supportive,
but since I have the personality of one who wants to "please", I tend to forget the supportive ones.  Thank you for your prayers.  I too will pray for you.

Yvette  5/15/99 JoynHm has given such wise advice!!  What can I add, except that when I read your post, the first thing I thought of was how much God hates spiritual pride.  He says that He hates pride more than any other sin.  Maybe you're the more spiritual one??  I have seen over and over how the more spiritual people (especially women) are those of a quiet and gentle spirit, not the ones who are talking the talk...  I will pray for you, and for those you serve.

JoynHm  5/16/99 It is all in the attitude.  We are far away from family and friends and holidays are the worst.  This past Easter even our children could not make it home from college!  Many times I get sad,
depressed and discouraged especially when the church folks don't even give those family days a thought.  But I have to tell you that we were in a worse spot before in our ministry and at that time we were near family and if I had to choose one of the two - I would gladly stay where we are now.  About 12 years ago we had a church split and we tried so hard to battle back and rebuild the church but we were too hurt and worn out so we chose to take a sabatical for a year.  It took another year to find a place of
ministry and in those two years we went through devastating things even thinking that the Lord did not need us any long for ministry but finally God opened up a door.  And now when I feel like I hate it here and when that loneliness sets in I think back to those awful two years and I thank God that we have a place to minister, we have a weekly income and most of the people still like us : If you can't think of a way things could be any worse then just read some of the posts on this site and it has a way of making you thankful for what you have.  It is all in your attitude....I heard someone say once "You can't stop a bird from flying over your head but you can stop him from building a nest in your hair!" ---Don't ponder on those negative thoughts..."think on good things."  I'll be praying for you!

Mariann  5/16/99 Hi Glenda.  I can relate to your situation because I feel the same way many times!  After 20 years as a PW, I THINK I would much rather be running a little shop or restaurant, or teaching school... I heard an excellent sermon this morning on Christian radio!  It was the president of Moody telling how our natural instincts can sometimes be the enemy of our soul--such as David with Bathsheba, etc. He explained (much better than I can) that the Lord has certain things He wants us to do because He knows the eternal benefits, whereas in our shortsightedness we want what WE want.  But our desires may bruise and harm our souls, and separate us from the fellowship with God that He desires.  When we dwell on what COULD be, we miss the joy that could be found in what is.  That just seemed to hit the nail on the head for me, because when I really concentrate on all the blessings in this occupation, that's when the "stuff" kind of fades away.  (As a foot-note, church this morning was awful.  About a dozen things went wrong--I won't go into detail but it was one of those mornings when you don't really come home feeling spiritually nourished, if you know what I mean! I guess Satan didn't want me to "digest" what I'd heard earlier!)  I'm thankful for this site. I haven't read all the entries but so far every one has been so helpful.  Bless you, Glenda! Some of us enlist in God's army and some are drafted, but all are used by Him!

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