I was twenty-two years old, I had just graduated from college, and I was living in a major city.  My parents lived 650 miles away.  My boyfriend, to whom I was committed, was pulling away from me emotionally.  I was lonely.  To whom could I turn?  On whom could I depend?

Many people struggle with loneliness -- that hollow, abandoned feeling that aches for someone to be there.  Someone in which to confide and be loved.  I learned some important lessons I'd like to pass along.

• Look to the Past  In Deuteronomy, Moses is giving a final charge to the Israelites before he dies.  Repeatedly he tells them to remember -- to remember God's faithfulness in the past.  We need to do this too when we are lonely.  Remember the times that God has given you fullness in your life and be thankful for those times.
• Look to the Future  When I have been lonely, it has been hard to imagine that I would ever get past it.  God has given us many promises for the future.  Psalms 68:6a(NIV) tells us, "God sets the lonely in families."  Jeremiah 29:11(NIV) says, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"
• Look to the Lord  God is the only one who can really fill that emptiness.  He is a faithful friend you will never lose.  Turn to Him, ask Him to be your Savior and Friend.  he is ready and willing.  "Come near to God and he will come near to you" (1 Peter 5:7, NIV).  How wonderful that God loves you and cares for you.  "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge" (Psalm 62:8, NIV)

Cheryl Christensen writes this:
    It was dark at 4:30am.  I was trying to get dressed without disturbing my husband.  He hadn't been sleeping very well the way it was.  Lots of getting up in the middle of the night and watching TV, not sleeping, depressed in general.  So, I was trying to be quiet.
    Working at the nursing home was early, but it meant I could get home early enough to help him in the field.  He was a farmer.
    This particular morning, he didn't seem to be himself.  I asked if I should stay home with him and his response was "no."  So - I went to work.
    By the time I got home in the afternoon, he had committed suicide.  We had three children in their late teens and the ones of us who were left had a lot to work out.
    Over the next months and years, there were lots of tears, lots of running, and lots of questions.  It isn't easy to bury a husband, especially when he chooses to take his own life.
    Loneliness is a big issue for a wife left by herself.  I was forty years old at the time.  After a time as I was talking with my aunt, she told me I should read the Psalms in God's Word.  She knew that I was a Christian and this would help me survive.  Relying on God is a choice.  I knew I couldn't do this myself, but God could.  She said, "If you don't get anything out of the Psalms the first time, you read them again and again until they really begin to talk to you."  And so I did.
    God is so good.  He began talking to me after only my third time through!!!
    Yes, it takes wanting help before God can help you.  When you really give your all to Him, He will help you.  When you stop trying to do it by yourself, give it to Him.  He says, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls" (Matthew 11:29).
    Later, God gave me the most wonderful husband for whom I could ever ask.  He filled my heart with a love that only He could bring.  Maybe that's not your situation.  Maybe your troubles are even larger than that, but I want you to know that whatever your problem, God is bigger and can solve it for you.  Open up your heart and life to Him.  Rely on Him for everything.  Even the lonely spot in your life.
© 2000 Cheryl Christensen.  All rights reserved.