I was twenty-two years old, I had just
graduated from college, and I was living in a major city. My parents
lived 650 miles away. My boyfriend, to whom I was committed, was
pulling away from me emotionally. I was lonely. To whom could
I turn? On whom could I depend?
Many people struggle with loneliness
-- that hollow, abandoned feeling that aches for someone to be there.
Someone in which to confide and be loved. I learned some important
lessons I'd like to pass along.
Cheryl Jakobitz writes this:
It was dark at
4:30am. I was trying to get dressed without disturbing my husband.
He hadn't been sleeping very well the way it was. Lots of getting
up in the middle of the night and watching TV, not sleeping, depressed
in general. So, I was trying to be quiet.
Working at the
nursing home was early, but it meant I could get home early enough to help
him in the field. He was a farmer.
This particular
morning, he didn't seem to be himself. I asked if I should stay home
with him and his response was "no." So - I went to work.
By the time I got
home in the afternoon, he had committed suicide. We had three children
in their late teens and the ones of us who were left had a lot to work
out.
Over the next months
and years, there were lots of tears, lots of running, and lots of questions.
It isn't easy to bury a husband, especially when he chooses to take his
own life.
Loneliness is a
big issue for a wife left by herself. I was forty years old at the
time. After a time as I was talking with my aunt, she told me I should
read the Psalms in God's Word. She knew that I was a Christian and
this would help me survive. Relying on God is a choice. I knew
I couldn't do this myself, but God could. She said, "If you don't
get anything out of the Psalms the first time, you read them again and
again until they really begin to talk to you." And so I did.
God is so good.
He began talking to me after only my third time through!!!
Yes, it takes wanting
help before God can help you. When you really give your all to Him,
He will help you. When you stop trying to do it by yourself, give
it to Him. He says, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for
I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls"
(Matthew 11:29).
Two year later,
God gave me the most wonderful husband for whom I could ever ask.
He filled my heart with a love that only He could bring. Maybe that's
not your situation. Maybe your troubles are even larger than that,
but I want you to know that whatever your problem, God is bigger and can
solve it for you. Open up your heart and life to Him. Rely
on Him for everything. Even the lonely spot in your life.
© 2000 Cheryl Jakobitz.
All rights reserved.
THE BIBLE SAYS
(True or False)
"The Lord answered Elijah's prayer to die." For
the answer click HERE!